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[wherethereislight]

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"If it's not important, don't bother."

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[heyyourenotsonic]

You didn't need to apologize got anything.

[ Even if she did kinda want to beat his fucking head in at the time. She wants to bring up that if he didn't at least care, he wouldn't have bothered-- but she doesn't want to argue or make him mad again. ]

Well, no, but I had already gotten the coffee beans. I just thought it would be a good idea to try something out from the book. Hopefully it turned out alright.

[wherethereislight]

[He narrows his eyes at that. He knows how others generally percieve his actions. So he's certain how he behaved would have been considered unacceptable.]

... [He's quiet, eventhough there are thoughs swimming in his mind. None of which, he can convey, or should.] It will be edible at least. [He says it like a compliment. Unable to think of anything more to say, he starts walking down the steps.] You can see yourself out.

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ He's already deemed the conversation over. She sighs, and then gathers a little courage. ]

I meant what I said the other day.

[ She doesn't wait for his response. Or to see if there's a lack there of. It doesn't matter, and he's made up his mind. Amy's already jumping ship, literally-- she's hopped off the deck and back onto the dock, before she stretches her arms over her head. Time to make the jaunt home. ]

[wherethereislight]

[Unless she's going to drown herself, Shadow says nothing and continues downstairs to settle in the plant room for the rest of the night.

...

A few days will pass, and Amy is going to find a message from him on her shellphone.]

This afternoon. My ship. [There was nothing else to the message.]

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ Fortunately, she's not a certain blue hedgehog--

She immediately looks at the message sent, and blinks. Cryptic. He didn't specify a time, so, she heads out at around two, and makes it to his boat in record time. Knock, knock it's Knuckles the pink pain in the ass! ]

[wherethereislight]

[She'll arrive while he's working on the sails. He's been traveling a lot, and the fabric has started to fray in various spots. While he has a replacement, this sail still has some more trips in it that some sewing and tape will hold it for now.

He looks up from where he's seated on the deck as the pink hedgehog arrives. A moment's pause before he sets down what he's doing. He walks towards her, pass her, toward the steps going below deck. He expects her to follow, and he'll be waiting for her in the familiar plant room.]

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ Amy squints up at the sails. She hums in thought-- maybe she can help him patch it up later. Right now though, he seems laser focused. She climbs aboard, ans then quietly follows him below deck, because in true Shadow fashion, he isn't giving up the ghost so easily as to why he called her here. ]

[wherethereislight]

[Among the usually smell of flowers and plants, there's a faint hint of coffee in the air as well. The coffee maker currently brewing on the desk.] The tirimisu was good. [He abruptly breaks the silence, moving toward the desk.]

It wasn't soggy, light and creamy as it should.

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ She visibly lights up when he speaks, and even more so when he gives his honest opinion of her tirimisu. Just the fact that he had actually eaten it pleases her, honestly.

Her tail wags ever so slightly. ]

Good! I'm glad it turned out okay and that you enjoyed it! I've never made ladyfingers before, so I'm glad they held up to the espresso soak.

[wherethereislight]

A clear demonstration of how well practiced you are in baking. [The brewer hiss, signaling the coffee was ready. He gathers a cup for himself, his back to her.]

I can't give you what you're asking of me.

[heyyourenotsonic]

Thanks! That's very sweet of you to say. [ Shadow doesn't give compliments often, so, a small victory!

...and then he just jumps right into it, wow. It takes a second for her brain to realize what he means, and her cheeks turn a slight red as she processes. ]

What-- wait, why? There's no expectations or anything.

[wherethereislight]

No, but I can't allow that possibility to exist. [Snuff this nonsense now before it can be given a chance to go further.]

Express your feelings for someone else. It's wasted on me.

[heyyourenotsonic]

Can I ask why, though? I'm not trying to be annoying, I just genuinely want to know. Is it because of me?

[ It's a valid question. She figured her shit out with Sonic, but Shadow? The only thing she can think of is that she's just too annoying. Granted, she can't make him want something that she wants, or that he feels isn't there, but it would still be nice to know so she can fix herself and be better. ]

[wherethereislight]

No. [He looked mildly confused that she would think it was her. There's the sound of coffee being poured into the cup, cutting through a moment of silence.] It's me.

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ She blinks. Her head tilts. ] You? I don't understand.

[ Granted, she does know Shadow well enough by now to know that he is, in fact, a loner. He's definitely made leaps and bounds since they first met, but. Still. ]

[wherethereislight]

... [He has notably, not prepared a cup for her. He doesn't think she stay for very long once he's spoken.]

What do you hope to have with someone else? A family? Children?

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ She looks thoughtful for a few moments, considering. Would she want to be a mother? Yes. At least, that's what she would have enthusiastically said yes a few years ago, when she was still chasing someone she could never truly catch in the way she wanted. With Sonic, she had a whole future planned out. Marriage, kids, getting old together.

But that silly fantasy is long gone now. So, she actually has to consider that question he's posed. ]

I... I don't really know, honestly.

[wherethereislight]

... [Well, that's an unexpected response.] What do you want with me?

[heyyourenotsonic]

You make me happy. [ She takes a deep breath, because despite years of chasing someone else, it never got this far. But she's also already preparing for rejection regardless. Maybe it's habit. ] So I want to try and make you happy, too.

[ She glances aside and fidgets nervously. One of his plants is suddenly very interesting for a long few moments, before she turns her anxious gaze back on him. ]

I just want to be. With you. You're wonderful.

[wherethereislight]

...No. I'm not. [He stares at his reflection in his cup before taking a sip. Dark and bitter, the way he likes it.] This happiness you claim is fleeting. Nothing good will come staying with me. Give up on this idea now, for your own sake.

[heyyourenotsonic]

I think you are. [ The familiar sting of rejection hurts, but she was ready for it, at least. She glances aside. ] Why do you think nothing good would come of it?

[wherethereislight]

...It goes without saying, what flows inside me. [The blood of an alien race of conquerors. An artificial construct made of whatever else the professor felt like putting inside to make him. Even he isn't fully sure, what part of his memories and feelings are his, or the professor's own meddling.] I cannot provide a comfortable life, when there are those who want what I possess, or would rather see me terminated. I cannot bare children, put them at risk of being given what I have and suffer a similar fate. [The power has remain dormant since Doom's defeat, but he can't chance it potentially flaring up one day. Especially how his body has been behaving ever since he placed that tattoo on him. He stares absently at a flower the seems to have started to wilt.]

Time might even flow differently for me from everyone else. [Does he age like the others? Or will he have to watch everyone grow old and eventually leave him. He looks in Amy's direction with a harden expression. Resolute in his decision.]

I may look like a hedgehog, but we're not the same. The happiness you're chasing doesn't exist with me. So find someone else who can provide it. [It's pointless to grow attachments for him. Unnecessary, even if he feels differently. It doesn't matter and has no place with him.]

[heyyourenotsonic]

[ He brings up valid points. She knows he leads a dangerous life by no fault of his own. She also recognizes that he is trying to keep her safe in his own way. But Amy wouldn't be Amy if she wasn't stubborn about matters if the heart. ]

I don't want comfortable. If life was meant to be comfortable all the time, it wouldn't be worth living.

[ She shifts again, fiddling a bit with one of her gold bracelets. Not having kids sucks, but it's not a deal breaker for her. Mostly because she understands his concerns: he puts potential offspring before himself and his own wants, even now. It's bittersweet and endearing all at once. ]

I don't need kids. And I don't care about your bloodline, Shadow. You're still you. Hedgehog, Black Arms, it doesn't matter to me because I like you for you.

[ She looks back at him again, her shoulders dropping a little. ]

Would you at least give me one chance?

[wherethereislight]

Hmph. You don't know what you're saying. [He knows she wouldn't flaunt her words, which only pisses him off more with what she says. Like him for who he is? Ridiculous. She only sees what he allows to be seen.]

Are you truly doing this for yourself, or for me? Eitherway, you're wasting your life on me, and I don't have the tolerance for someone who would foolishly do that. [Can she honestly still feel that way a month from now, a year? Why would she willingly limit her options? Why would he do that to her?]

[heyyourenotsonic]

I know exactly what I'm saying. [ Amy's never shied away from this sort of thing, and she's not about to start now. ]

How could I be throwing my life, or anything away, when I genuinely care for you? I know what I want. But if you really don't want the same, I understand. I won't push it further.

[ Because at the end of the day, a relationship takes two. And if he doesn't want to, she can't make him. She learned the hard way what happens when you try to force something. ]